Bumper Sticker Maniac – It’s Fun to Get Weird, Part Two

When I told you I couldn’t stop writing bumper stickers, I wasn’t kidding. Here are a few more for you to ponder and appreciate. I hope you’ll even write a few of your own. They are so much fun and great for your brain. “Bumper-Stickering” is also an excellent party activity. Once again, enjoy:

* The sky isn’t falling. It’s just hangin’ real low.

* 74% of 1/3 of the nation use statistics 27% of the time.

* If I ever see a mushroom cloud, the diet’s over.

* Gone wishin’.

* Caution: vehicle loaded with snakes.

* I miss Bush.

* Help cool the Globe: stop pontificating.

* Get into binge thinking.

* I gave The Queen a bear hug.

* I sneak onto golf courses with a push mower.

* Sorry about running into you. Sue my cell phone.

* I only grow marijuana to make rope.

* Just remember: I ALWAYS have the right of way.

* I rescued a dog and it rescued me.

* Who needs a job when you’ve got 12 games to watch in HD?

* I meditate with my dogs.

* I try only to drive in reverse.

* Chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just dormant.

* Color me homeless.

* Defeat Global Warming: fight for your right to consume.

* They sure don’t make ’em like they used to: China does.

* Sit on a swizzle stick and spin, Elroy.

* No, I do not have the munchies. I always eat 14 donuts at a time.

* Anyone need a black eye?

* My Little Leaguer broke your windshield.

* Mediocrity is the study of meteors, right?

* I traded our 5 cars for 5 bitchen mountain bikes.

* Honk if you’re broke.

* Hope springs nocturnal.

* COAL SUCKS.

* I find my best sleep comes at work.

* I bit off more than I can eschew.

* It’s a slippery slope of a world we live in. May I suggest cleats?

* The more crap you own, the better a person you are.

* You know, money isn’t everything. It’s not God. Or, is it? Maybe it is!

* Visualize Earth as it was in the good ol’ days: without humans.

* I mean, like, how many species do we really need anyway?

* I’ve had it up to here with the environment. Can we please change the subject?

* Leave only footprints. Just not on my forehead.

* I no longer eat meat, just mutton.

* I got a steal on this humongous SUV and free gas for week!

* Yeah, there’s a pill for that.

* Follow me down the Yellow Brick road to the Neocon Graveyard.

* I look like hell and can’t sing. Do I have a chance at stardom?

* I do not get high. I mainly get low.

* I drink beer solely for the cans.

* Don’t tell anybody, but I just flung my credit cards into The Grand Canyon.

* Good luck with that, Eunice.

* Now accepting monetary donations.

* Life’s a scam.

* Playing tennis with a golf ball: bad idea.

* If God wanted me to sleep, I would’ve been born asleep.

* Multitaskers make lousy lovers.

* Have you skidded to a stop lately?

* My bank account is on the Endangered Species List.

* Got any spare gold bullion?

* Snorklers have reef madness.

* I’ve got flatulence and I’m not afraid to use it.

* New reality show idea: “Binging With The Stars”

* To hell, with ‘punctuation”;